
As you chomp into any dish, something happens in your brain.
Your brain analyses the contents of the dish, compares it what it knows and then spits out a critique.
So the dish could be too salty, too sweet—or, or, or,—it could be just right, or even better than you’ve ever tasted before.
In a matter of seconds, we have feedback.
Whether we choose to voice our opinion or not, is totally our call.
And sometimes we don’t. And sometimes we do.
So should you be a critic?
The answer is yes. And no.
I remember my own pronunciation mistakes.
And as I grew up, I’d picked up several words from teachers, friends etc. And I’d pronounce those words incorrectly. So I’d pronounce the word ‘question’ as ‘ques-sin’. Or Tibet (as in the place, Tibet) as ‘Tib-it’.
My favourite series was the ‘tion’ series. Words like ‘consumption’, for instance. I’d use the ‘z’ sound, so it sounded like ‘con-zum-shun’. Well, let’s just say, that from time to time, a lot of folk here in Kiwi land would do a double-take when I spoke certain words.
The point is, I wanted to improve
So I appointed my friend and super-critic, Chris Parkinson, to pick up the glitches. If you know Chris, that’s what he’d do for a living. But anyway, he critiqued, and I fixed it. But there was a difference. I wanted to be critiqued.
I couldn’t hear myself, and even when corrected, I still had to work quite hard at pronouncing some very basic words like ‘industry, electricity’ and probably every word that started with ‘v’ (I’d say it with a ‘w’ sound).
But there’s a point that is important to note: I asked Chris to critique me.
Most of us don’t take critiques well, and unless asked for, critiques are often disregarded, even shunned. So the basic rule of critiquing is, don’t give advice unless asked. Don’t critique unless asked.’
But even when you critique, a rule should be observed
Let’s say for instance, in 5000bc, we have a critique section. In that section, every one who posts their website or article knows they’re going to be critiqued. But even when you’re asked to critique, you must only critique ONE thing at a time.
If you’re asked to critique a sales page, and you go nuts on that page, it’s not only too much for the person to take, but it’s also too much to fix all at once.
Therefore, even when critiquing, you need to make sure that you critique just one thing at a time.
And if you’ve been on a course with me, or watched carefully, I’ll tend to critique just one thing. In the Article Writing Course, for instance, there are several elements that we have to consider: Connectors, disconnectors, first fifty words, visual impact, blah, blah, blah.
But I will focus on just one thing to the exclusion of all others. This enables the person being critiqued to work on that one thing, fix it and move ahead.
So to be clear, don’t tackle more than one thing at a time. And only critique when asked.
But this rule changes under certain conditions
It changes when you have a common frame of reference. So, for example if everyone in the room has read The Brain Audit, and you’re on The Brain Audit course, then you’re expected to work with your team of 4-5 people.
You’re expected to critique as part of the course. If you don’t critique/help the other person, they actually feel neglected and hurt. And there’s a distinct possibility that they’ll drop out of the course.
Why? Because you can’t keep saying “great job” every single day. When you’re learning, you want to improve. But because you have a small group and because you have a common frame of reference, you can point to that frame of reference.
The frame of reference is extremely important
Because everyone has read The Brain Audit (on that course) they know what you’re referring to. They expect to be critiqued by the small group they’re working with. And most importantly, even if they don’t feel they’re qualified to critique, I have to let them know it’s okay to critique.
Because I’m reading every post and if the critique is off-target, I’ll get things on target. Or it may lead to an interesting discussion and we’ll all be the better for it.
But as you can see, there are several elements in place such as common frame of reference, expectation of critique, small group and most importantly that someone is overseeing every tiny post you make on the forum—and can direct you if you go off course.
I’ve been a critic
I thought it was normal to be a critic.
Obviously not.
In many cases people want you to just say ‘wow’.
In other situations, a ‘wow’ is wonderful, but the critique is expected as well.
You have to know when to do what.
And what is expected of you.
You may think that the better thing to do is just shut up and not offer any critique at all. And that’s a bit off the mark. Instead ask the person if they’d like a critique from time to time. If they trust you, they’ll say yes. And then please, don’t over do your critiques. Pick on one thing. And don’t be a pest. Intersperse critiques with praise.
Being a critic is a good thing. But as you’ve worked out, it depends on the circumstances.
P.S. Yes, you can critique anything we do or say at Psychotactics. Yes, anything. We want to fix things all the time. We even occasionally offer chocolate bars for your critique.
| Why You Need The Brain Audit “Before I bought the Brain Audit I felt lost and like a desperate salesman.” |
Top Selling Products Under $50
1) NEW! You already know that 80% of a sales letter depends on your headline.
So what’s the remaining 20% that causes customers to buy? Find out more
2) Do You Often Hit A Wall Called ‘Writers Block’?
Learn how the core elements of outlining can save you from the misery of writing your next article.
3) Do you know that visuals immediately improve your sales conversion?
Learn how to create drama and curiosity and help improve your web page conversion with visuals.
4) Do your websites, brochures, presentations, etc… confuse your clients?
Put some sanity into your design, even though you are not a designer?
5) Chaos Planning
Year after year you sit down and create a list of things you want to achieve. Then suddenly it’s February, and you’ve not really moved ahead as you’d expected.
Learn Why Most Planning Fails: And The Critical Importance of Chaos in Planning.
NEW PRODUCT! Black Belt Presentations: How do you create presentations that enthrall, hold and move an audience to action?
Next Step: To get more Psychological Tactics
Subscribe: : Get Updates via RSS | Get Updates via Email



{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Hi Sean,
Your article resonated with me. First, I have never read an article that has touched on this subject in the blogosphere (yes or no?)
I concur with you 100%. As a spiritual coach, I mostly listen…ask the person if they’d like my input…and when they say ‘yes’, I only offer them one morsel to work on. It’s a good test. If they take my suggestion, follow through and practice and begin to incorporate it into their repertoire, I will eventually suggest another behavior to work on…if they want. If they don’t follow through, that’s good information. It tells me that the individual is not yet ready to make changes.
Switch to when I’m on the receiving end. I LOVE to get critiqued in certain arenas…the more the better. My brain is often able to assimilate 3 or 4 things at a time and work on one thing while keeping the others on the back burner (but having them in my consciousness). Once in a while, I’m able to work on a few ideas concurrently.
BUT when it comes to fine motor skills, I can only take it ONE change at a time….and slowly. I need to practice, practice, and practice (and ask to be shown several times again how to do it) before I’m able to change. An example….I started rowing a year and a half ago. Everyone at the rowing club, and I mean everyone, gave me tons of advice on how to become a better rowing. They meant well but phrases like ‘You just have to do’ went right over my head. I became overwhelmed, frustrated and anxious. I began to feel bad about myself. It was the old ‘I can’t do it/not good enough voice’. Because I have enough experience with my learning style, I pulled myself up by the bootstraps and told everyone time and again that I learn slowly and not to give me input….that I have a coach teaching me. Eventually 90% of them listened after several reminders from me.
My rowing has improved significantly. I have one coach who critiques me…and even with him, I need to remind him how I learn and that I want him to go over one point several time for me to ‘get it.’
My point….the amount of critiquing we can take…even for those who like it….often depends on the domain that we’re working on.
Fantastic post. Thanks so much!! Fran
That was a great post, Fran. Yes, sometimes it’s easy to I’m don’t do all three things if you’re familiar with them, but if they’re all brand-new then it soon becomes very overwhelming. I do tend to take a lot of steps together, though sometimes it’s a complete mess because you can take too many steps, and confuse yourself
This reminds me of a time many years ago, I was in boot camp in the Army and was exchanging letters with my former grade school teacher. I was never real good in grammar and spelling. One day she corrected my letter in red ink and sent it back to me. I guess once a teacher always a teacher.
Ha ha that’s funny!
Hi Sean
I enjoyed your article. In fact, I’ve sent it to a rather brash colleague.
Andrew