Cartoon drawn by cartoonist Keira Menon
Giving a presentation is often nerve wracking.
You know you need to relax but you are driving yourself up the wall. How do you calm your nerves before a presentation?
The usual way to solve the problem seems to be that you need to practise more. You practise, practise, and practise, but the stress won’t go away.
So what does reduce the fear and when speaking?
It’s simpler than you’d think. Let's find out.
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Everybody gets extremely nervous before they have to give a presentation.
However, in most cases it is a fear that can be reduced to the point where you are not as stressed out. Here are three things to consider that will change the way you approach the preparation for your presentation.
1) External validation in advance
2) Memorise the first few lines
3) Distract yourself before the event
1) External validation in advance
Imagine being so calm that you sleep through your alarm on the day of your presentation.
When I first started with seminars, I was always highly stressed out. Four weeks before the event, I would have to put together the slides and write notes, and all of that energy would be tightly wound up. However, that changed considerably for me when Diane Hendrickson came into my life.
Diane wasn't even a trainer but a client.
She had signed up for a two-day event that I was holding in Auckland, New Zealand. As she was the last person to sign up, I chatted with her and told her that I was extremely nervous. To her credit, she took it in her stride.
She invited me over to her place and asked me to review the presentation slides. I printed out all of the slides on a sheet of paper, and we went through a rough run-through of what I would say the next day.
What we covered on the day wasn't very polished, yet it calmed me down completely. In fact, I was so calm that I did something I had never done. I did not wake up at 4 am and slept through my alarm.
How did this concept work?
It didn't work because of the factor of practice. For every presentation I've ever done, I have gone through the information and the slides as many times as possible, 16 to 17 times.
However, I was still edgy the night before the presentation. There have been nights when I couldn't sleep until 2 am and finally fell asleep and woke up at 5 am. Yet, that was not the case in this instance.
The reason why I was so calm was because of a factor of external validation.
External validation is when someone other than your immediate family or friends gives you a note of approval. All of us need this level of validation from “strangers”. For example, let's say you have just written a book. You show it to your partner or friends, and they say they love it.
However, you still want a “stranger” to write back and tell you how much they enjoyed your book. If they go into more detail and explain which parts resonated with them the most, you feel even more excited about what you have just done.
Similarly, it would help if you had that external validation when giving a presentation.
You will unlikely find a “stranger” who will sit through the entire process. Nonetheless, if it is a friend whose judgement you trust, then you will see the response as you explain your concept.
They will also tell you which parts they liked a bit and which parts confused them. As a result, you will be able to fix those minor problems, but more importantly, you will get great energy from having the external validation.
It's important to note that this isn't just a rehearsal.
Yes, the rehearsal is a form of practice, but you really want that energy to bounce back into your world. You will put out that energy and want to know that it's worth all the trouble you have taken. And that's what happened to me on that day before the presentation.
It wasn't like I didn't know what I was talking about, and it wasn't like I hadn't done enough rehearsals. However, once I got that external validation, I calmed down completely, and the next day's presentation went as well as possible.
If there's one thing you can do to release all that stress that is building up, it is to get somebody you trust and go over the information with them. Ideally, you want to have all the slides on paper because you don't want to do a big “presentation.” They will validate you, releasing a lot of the tension you are feeling.
However, remember that any presentation also requires more than one step. Once you have organised this first step, it might be a good idea to move on to the next one, which is to remember the first lines.
2) Memorise the first few lines
For a long time, I was like a parrot at my presentations. I'd start every presentation using the same line, no matter what I was talking about.
Here's how I would begin.
“As I look around the room, I can see all your happy, smiling faces. And you'll be more happy when you leave today because you will learn about “why customers buy—and why they don't. ”
That was the line that I used repeatedly for four years on end. If I was making a presentation for “The Brain Audit,” I'd talk about “why customers buy and why they don't.” If I was talking about a different topic, like “pricing” or “conversion”, then I would change the tagline a bit. But the core of the first line was always the same.
I would always step up and say, “As I look around the room, I can see all your happy, smiling faces.” Then, I would pause, look at all the happy, smiling faces, and continue with the next couple of lines.
Why is this opening line so important?
Nothing is as scary as the first few lines of all the lines you will use during a presentation. You want to impress your audience, and it drives you crazy because you need to warm up a bit before you relax.
Hence, it's crucial to have a line that you can use on a regular basis. This is why I used a stock line for years on end, only changing it just a little bit.
When starting any presentation, it would be a good idea to have a simple opening line that you don't have to “remember.” It's just something that you say that gives some sort of energy to the audience. You don't want to start with some cheesy line.
Let's go through the line and an entire opening paragraph for clarity.
I would start my presentation in this manner:
“As I look around the room I can see all your happy smiling faces. And you're going to be more happy and more smiley before we leave. That's because you will learn the secret of why customers buy and why they don't.
When we try to sell something, whether it is a house, product, or service, we find that customers will show great interest. And then, suddenly, without warning, they will go quiet. You don't hear from them and have no idea why they have backed away.
In today's presentation, we will look at what goes on in the customer's mind. Let's find out what's really going on and how to use it to your benefit.”.
As you can see, that paragraph was nothing spectacular.
It started with the stock line, then discussed the problem and then the solution. It's the paragraph I would practice repeatedly until I didn't have to think about it anymore. It's the kind of thing you would want to make part of your repertoire when you're giving a speech.
While these first few lines might seem repetitive to you, they are brand-new for an audience.
It's very efficient because you don't have to worry about how you are going to start your speech. Once you get past the first paragraph, your breathing slows considerably because you have already developed sudden momentum.
You are definitely less nervous than before you get on stage. Hence, starting with a formula like the one above is one that will work for you time and time again.
The other way to start a speech is to tell a story.
As I got more comfortable on stage, I dropped the opening line. Instead, I would use the power of surprise. However, even in this situation, I would have a stock line.
For instance, the line would be like this: “Today, I'm going to tell you the story of how a pilot almost destroyed the Taj Mahal.”
It doesn't matter what the audience is doing at this point in time. You will notice that they immediately stop their activity and look up. And that is because you have taken them by surprise.
Yet, even while you are surprising them, you are still using a stock line. You are saying something to the effect of “I am going to tell you a story of… “and then you continue to tell the story.
Because it's a story, it takes the pressure off you.
You are just relating something, and it's so surprising that you have the audience's attention. Once again, it only takes a couple of paragraphs before you start to settle in and relax. At this point, you only need to continue the story and connect it to your subject matter.
Whether you choose the storyline or the stock line is irrelevant.
What is relevant is that you don't have to remember that first paragraph or first couple of paragraphs. It just rolls out of you as you get on stage. You will still be slightly nervous, of course, but a lot less anxious than if you were trying to say something like “Good morning” or something cheesier than that.
I have one more tip for you, and it has nothing to do with the presentation itself. It has something to do with before you enter the room.
3) Distract yourself before the event
Here's an email that I recently received from a client. The email references an event from 2009.
Here is how it reads:
Sean,
I want to express my gratitude for our encounter many, many years ago.
To be more specific, it was 2009 in Chicago.
It was the first morning of an internet marketing conference put on by Kevin McCarthy. I woke up early that Saturday with a mixture of excitement and anxiety. I went down to the lobby to grab some “brekkie”.
I loaded a tray of scrambled eggs and bacon and looked for a place to sit.
I turned the corner, and you were sitting at a two-person table working on your MacBook.
I think you said, “Hey Jack, I'm Sean. Congrats on winning the affiliate manager contest. Want to join me?”
I said, “Awesome. Thanks!” But inside, I was thinking, “Holy shit… this is Sean D'Souza, and he's going to be giving a keynote speech at this event.”
I clearly remember when you started showing me just a few of the slides from your keynote.”
The email goes on to explain how that encounter made such a difference. However, what's important to note here is that he helped me more than I helped him.
When you are giving a presentation, you are pretty anxious.
Hence, having breakfast with somebody is probably an excellent idea. Once again, I recommend that the breakfast be with someone who can validate you externally. You might not talk about the content itself, or you just might.
However, when you fill in that dead space with chatter, you distract yourself from what is to come. You might explain to the person what you plan to do so you relax.
If, on the other hand, you are in your hotel room or sitting in your house, all you are doing is winding yourself up.
A family member can't reduce that pressure no matter how hard they try. What you need once again is an external force. If you can get some people to the event earlier, you can organise a mini breakfast with a couple of the attendees.
I usually organise a breakfast with someone before a seminar or a presentation. I might do that the night before or even several days in advance. They are really excited to meet with me, but the benefit is mutual. Sometimes, I think that I benefit more from meeting with them than the other way around.
Waiting for something to happen is a real pain.
My advice to anyone giving a presentation is to distract yourself by meeting with someone for at least 30 to 40 minutes before the presentation. Ideally, the meeting place should be at the venue itself.
There you go.
First, make sure that you get external validation. This is not about rehearsal or practice. It is very strictly about external validation. The second strategy would be to ensure you remember the first paragraph. Keep it so simple that you can be woken up at 2 am and rattle off the paragraph in your sleep.
And finally, make sure that you meet somebody for a coffee or even breakfast before the event. You will distract yourself and review some of the points you are discussing. In some strange way, you will get excited about what you are about to present, and that stress will climb down considerably.
You're good to go. Now, it's just a matter of taking the steps outlined above, and you'll find that you're much calmer than before.
Time to hit the stage!
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