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(Click here to listen to the article: Why Feedback Barely Helps Progress)
There's a reason aeroplane windows aren't square.
In the early 1950's, one of the most futuristic planes was the de Havilland Comet. It was considered the world's first commercial jetliner. And yes, it had square-shaped windows. Then, suddenly in 1954, two Comets broke apart mid-air right after take off.
Every time the plane takes off, the cabin is pressurised, and when it lands, the pressure is released.
During the lifecycle of a plane, this cycle repeats itself over and over again. With every change in pressure, the stress concentrated at the right angle of the square windows. Over time, thousands of microscopic cracks began to form.
Eventually, and without warning, the metal would tear open, tearing the plane open and causing it to suddenly rip apart in mid-air. The square corners were the points of pressure.
When we ask for feedback, we also create sharp corners.
This, in turn, creates intense pressure. However, if we want to improve quickly, we need this level of pressure. Yet, we often do the opposite. We create feedback with “rounded rectangles”, thus reducing the pressure. In a way, we're jeopardising the way we get feedback.
How do we get solid feedback and keep the pressure up? Let's cover three points:
1- Don't preemptively defend your work.
2- Being too vague leads to poor, unusable feedback.
3- Timing matters: When you ask for feedback matters as much as what you ask for.
1- Don't preemptively defend your work.
Imagine someone says something like this: “I had a really difficult time doing this artwork, and it took me three hours.”
Any statement, no matter how small, is defensive
It's saying: I put in time; I put in effort; it was difficult; my dragonfly died suddenly. Any additional information creates a wall for the person reviewing your work. They're immediately less inclined to give you the feedback you need. Yet, almost without fail, you will find people who add a tiny bit of information. The information reduces pressure on the person asking for the feedback. What happens next is a bit of a travesty.
The person asking for the feedback gets some watered-down nonsense.
Asking for “kind feedback” seems logical.
Usually, the reason for “kindness” is largely because feedback has been brutal in the past. Maybe you had a parent for whom criticism was the only way. Or maybe you remember your third-grade teacher who said your work was terrible. Yet no matter what your history, any defensive statement is going to lead to feedback that's kind, but often not enough. Without enough pressure, you're going to improve so slowly that your work will almost always be considered shallow, or even stagnant.
The first step is to disregard past feedback and focus on how you can get better feedback in the future. Which takes us to the next point: vagueness. What is a vague feedback request? And why does it make a difference?
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2- Vague feedback requests.
When I used to go to a networking meeting, we had a routine every week. We would stand up and tell the rest of the group what kind of referral we wanted. So you would say something like, “I'm in marketing, and I would like a referral and would like to work with small businesses.” As the months passed, I noticed that some people not only received more referrals but also consistently gained new business. The difference was that they were not vague.
But what was vague about the statement above?
When you think about it, there is no clarity at all. Let's talk about the sentence:
1. I am in marketing. So, what does that mean? What kind of marketing?
2. I would like a referral and would like to work with small businesses. What is a small business, and how do they work with you?
Notice how the statement seems perfectly good until you analyse it and realise that it makes no sense at all. The people who got consistent referrals were those who were extremely specific. They would say something like, “I'm in marketing for hairdressers, and I would like it if anyone could put me in touch with Rodney Wayne”. At this point, almost everyone would stop eating breakfast and focus on the request.
We have to maintain the same level of specificity when we ask for feedback, but we rarely do.
More often than not, we say, “I would appreciate all sorts of feedback.” But you can see how that appears really vague? That's because we don't know exactly what you're looking for. Which is fair because at times you don't know what you're looking for either. When you're learning a skill, for example, you don't know what you're doing wrong. But you have a sense that something isn't going right, so you need to start there.
It would be much better to ask a question like, “I have been drawing this snowman, but I'm not getting the hat quite right”, or “I have been drawing this snowman, but the fingers seem to be slightly off.”
What you are doing at that point in time is asking for specifics, and the moment you ask for specifics, everybody drops their cutlery and starts trying to help you in that area.
Here's another example: Can you help me with my sales page?
The problem with a sales page is its vastness and numerous elements. However, do you really want feedback on the entire page? Perhaps you’re unsure what specific areas need improvement. There’s a logical solution: focus on the relevant elements.
Could you please provide some feedback on the headline and the first two paragraphs? I’m writing to reach “women returning to the workforce after a long break.”
Your request is very clear, with some specificity, which reduces intimidation.
Because it’s so specific, it reduces the cognitive load on the other person.
That “other person” could be your coach, a friend, or anyone whom you trust. However, that person has to stop what they're doing and focus on you. If we are less vague with our requests, the reviewer can be far more accurate with their feedback.
What could we do to improve accuracy?
A. Shrink the target
Don’t ask for feedback on the entire piece. Choose a small, defined area that can be evaluated quickly. A headline or paragraph. Or in the example of the snowman: the hat and the hands. When the target is small, the feedback becomes sharper.
B. Name the problem, even if imperfectly
You don’t need to correctly diagnose the issue. You just need to point to where it feels wrong. Saying “something feels off here” is far better than asking for “general feedback”. Naming the problem gives the reviewer a place to start.
Once you narrow the focus, you get more precise feedback. Which, in turn, moves us to the third and final point: “timing matters”. When you do something, it's almost as important as what you're about to do.
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3- Timing matters
Researchers at two universities decided to examine more than 1,000 decisions made by eight judges.
These judges were ruling on convicts' parole requests. This means they had the power to set the convict free or keep them in jail. In this particular study, they found the judges granted 65 per cent of the requests early in the day. Then, as the morning wore on and they got hungrier, the judges started denying more requests. Right after a snack break, the approvals went up again. However, in a separate study conducted during Ramadan, the researchers found that hungry judges were actually more lenient.
Hence, while hunger is not a good enough variable, fatigue is very consistent.
Those very judges were fresh at the start of the day, then slowed down until the snack break perked them up again. As the day got longer, they got “grumpier” as we all do. Think of any dealing you have in the real world, and you'll notice that fatigue plays a big role:
Almost anyone you know gets tired as their day progresses.
Which means the point you ask for feedback on also matters.
Let's say you're taking an online course and you post your assignment early in the day. Would that work? It would if it were also early in the day for the teacher. However, figuring out when the teacher is more likely to give you precise feedback should be part of your strategy. It's possible that you work on your project later at night, and you don't always need to change your working plan. However, you may need to work ahead so you can post earlier in the day. Why? It's because everyone's day (including the teacher) has finite boundaries. Whether it's parole you're seeking, a bowl of pasta, or feedback on an assignment, the same principles apply.
When seeking feedback, ask yourself: Is the person likely to be distracted?
Is that person likely to be tired? There are many other parameters that could possibly cause the other person to be a bit restricted with their feedback, but if you can control just the time of day, you're more than likely to get a person eager to give you a lot of detail.
It also brings us full circle to the three elements that you need to work with to get good feedback.
Summary:
1: Don't defend your work too soon.
If you say something like, “I was really tired when I did this assignment,” or you pre-qualify what you're about to say by saying things like, “I need kind feedback,” then immediately, you are not going to get the feedback that you're looking for. You will get some pathetic little cheerleading that will not help you improve. While there are days when you don't need a full blast of criticism, you can make sure that you get a limited amount.
2: How do you get limited feedback?
You’ve asked for specifics, mentioning the headline and the first two paragraphs. This will help reduce the amount of information you receive. You can fix two or three things at a time, even if the feedback is a bit intense. If you get fifty things to fix, well, you know how that story ends, right?
3: Finally, timing matters.
If you can control when you submit your work, do so. Even if you work late at night, it is not a good idea to submit the work so late that the person looking at it is also going to be as tired as you are. Hence, possibly working a little in advance and submitting it when the reviewer is fresh is to your advantage and theirs. They want to give you the best feedback possible, and you want to improve dramatically and quickly. Hence, timing really matters.
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Most of us look for praise.
Praise is the default system that we long for every hour, and possibly most of the minutes, of our day. Yet feedback makes us so much better at our work and in our lives. If you want to regulate feedback and get it to your advantage, you know what to do.
