The Main Difference Between Extroverts and Introverts
So I’m an extrovert. I like being around people...
I like talking to them. I certainly don’t mind being the center of attention. And you know what? Introverts like being around people. They like talking to them. They don’t mind being the center of attention. And if you’re an introvert, you may think I’m nuts. And if you’re an introvert, you may think I’m nuts too!
So let me explain…
For the longest time ever, I thought that the core difference between introverts and extroverts was a factor of ’spotlight’. That introverts shun the spotlight. And extroverts don’t. And it’s only after speaking to a lot of
introverts that I worked out the main difference between introverts and extroverts.
Extroverts are energised by people.
Introverts are drained by people.
But that would be too much of a generalisation. In fact, introverts aren’t drained by people. They’re just drained by having to deal with many people. Introverts are fine if they have to deal with a few people (and the fewer the better). When they have to deal with many people, they’ll do fine, but they almost instantly run out of battery power. At the end of a few hours, an introvert would like to sit and stare at the wall, thank you.
The extrovert (people like me) can’t get enough of people. We want to go out. We want to go to dinner. We want to go to a party. Because the more we get in contact with people, the more we recharge.
You don’t have to go far to find an introvert/extrovert. If you’re in a relationship, your partner is probably an extrovert (if you’re an introvert). And vice versa. Which is why Bill Clinton appears so friendly, and Hillary has to make the effort. Which is why Al Gore may seem all friendly while presenting, but then needs to find a quiet room to re-charge.
But what does this mean for you and me?
If you run workshops or seminars; if you run meetings, you need to understand that introverts and extroverts will operate differently. The introvert won’t say much at meetings. They need time to charge, because their batteries are draining constantly. The extrovert may say a lot. That doesn’t mean the introvert doesn’t have a lot to say. They do.
You just have to find a space where there are less people.
And it’s not only workshops or meetings. It could be forums. Or teleclasses. Or any place where people congregate. That’s the place that introverts start to feel drained. And the more they run into masses of people, the more their batteries go kaput. Introverts get a bad rap because people don’t understand how they operate. Now you know. So find a way to communicate with introverts. Get rid of the people.
Do you consider yourself an extrovert? Or introvert? Do you agree with this hypothesis or not?
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June 18th, 2008 at 5:52 pm
Sean,
Great posts - all of them.
Sean, you’re an extra-vert not an extro-vert. You’re first attention is turned (vert) OUTwards (extra) not INwards (intro).
Do you know anyone whose attention is turned OUNwards (extro)?
…or even ITwards (intra)?
Don’t believe everything you read in a dictionary.
June 20th, 2008 at 6:07 pm
I agree with what you write here Sean, while in groups my battery depletes and I have to recharge. I have been able to give talks to hundreds of people, but I find it more tiring than a 10 mile hike.
It seems a lot of bloggers are introverts, I am still trying to get the last view submissions to my survey but it looks like a high percentage are answering in the affirmative.
My brother on the other hand seems to be energized by social situations, hence he is a stage musician and I am not I guess
June 21st, 2008 at 7:33 am
Couldn’t agree more.
In fact, it reminds me of a conversation we once had….
June 23rd, 2008 at 6:08 am
As a certifiable introvert, I usually say that “I love people… but only in homeopathic doses”.
You’re spot on, Sean.
June 23rd, 2008 at 7:17 am
That’s me in a nutshell…and that’s where I’d like to be most times.
I’m relieved someone understands!
Thanks, Sean!
June 23rd, 2008 at 7:41 am
Hi Sean, I like the Blog and am thoroughly enjoying the Brain Audit. It took me a while to take that leap of faith. BUT when I did it was so worth while. and then you keep adding additional elements like the blog. Makes it all worth while.
June 24th, 2008 at 1:22 am
I agree with your descriptions of introverts vs. extroverts, Sean. I am an introvert, and the way you have described introverts is accurate; I like people, but the more people that are around, the faster my batteries are drained.
June 25th, 2008 at 4:05 am
Absolutely right - I didn’t know this description was true until I read a book called “The Introvert Advantage” by Marti Olsen Laney. Now I understand why, after a day of dealing with people in the workplace, what I really want is to sit down with the paper and be quiet for an hour.
July 12th, 2008 at 10:38 pm
Great Post! I’m loving your site, found it on copyblogger. Your cartoons are a great addition to the internet. I’ve never seen this before online. Keep em coming.
August 20th, 2008 at 1:20 am
..Introverts get a bad rap because people don’t understand how they operate. Now you know. So find a way to communicate with introverts. Get rid of the people.
Right on spot!
I was in this relationship wherein I was mis understood for being too quiet. I had always been quiet naturally.
Although if you are in my domain(on a topic that interest me, once I get excited, I can go for a longer time)
But in total, I think I just enjoy being in my own quiet world.
The frustrating thing is you get asked all time “are you ok?”
When you ask, why?
They say,”you haven’t said a thing or something”
I then start wondering if I was the one that had problems or they.
In summation,I think Introverts will not be understood most especially when you are in the midst of loud mouthed folks who most times have no clue about making sure that their brain is in gear before engaging mouth.
September 21st, 2008 at 2:43 am
[...] the idea of attending seminars makes you feel tired and sleepy (like it does me — which, according to Sean D’Souza, is perfectly natural for introverts)… don’t [...]